What a Funk.

I've been in a funk.

I'm not sure completely why but I know it's there.

Sure there's a few things that have been hitting my heart hard but really they aren't hard enough.

I've been going through the motions of this thing called life instead of living life.

Making the better story.

And it seems that I just kept getting more funkified rather than finding some joy.

So not typically me.

Today, though that all changed.

I wish I had a video to show you, to explain how great today was.

Or I wish someone had taken some photos so you could see the frozen moments.

Alas, none of those exist.

But Just trust me it was good.

In Bible study Tuesday, we talked about being humble. This section is not going to be humble. I'm a sinner and forgiven, so sue me.

Minseo
Honestly, I share the most stories about this girl and I know that leads people to think she's my favorite. To be honest, I really enjoy most of my other students too and don't know that I could choose from amongst them a number one (now if you're letting me name the top four I could do it...). But the fact is Minseo was the child I had to work the hardest for and because of that I get quite a bit of joy out of how much she enjoys me now.

Today, we went to a children's museum. Minseo is usually pretty independent but at this museum--like the last museum--she just wanted to be with me. She wanted to show me things she found and see what I was looking at too. She wanted to hold my hand when we walked anywhere; in fact, she wanted to hold it bad enough she fought with whoever was holding it to get it. On the bus ride home she finally mastered the ability to say, "I don't love Kara." Now everyone at Haba thinks I'm weird for letting this happen but honestly, I know it's not true and I don't mind her learning the English for it instead of "no I love Kara." In fact, she even learned the idea of "I don't love" and spent some time telling me what she did and didn't love. She always ends the day with an "I love Kara" so my feelings can't be hurt.

I've noticed Minseo doesn't like the other teachers at Haba. In fact, they often try to get her to say in Korean that they are her favorite (I think they do this because they think I can't understand...I can). They offer her sweets in exchange for her saying "I love you" and they kidnap her for hugs and kisses. I've never had to do any of that. Minseo tells me all that time--and in the middle of crowded places--that she loves me. She kisses my cheek several times a day. She runs to greet me with a hug each morning. She says, "hug please" countless times throughout the day. It's a great feeling to know that a child knows you love them, but maybe even better, is knowing they love you. It's great to be loved.

I recognized that today.

Samuel
Samuel is autistic. Samuel is violent. Samuel tries my patience. Today, Samuel and I became friends. Today, I fell in love with Samuel.

Perhaps, that's ultimately why my day was so awesome. And to be honest I can't think of how it happened. At the museum I was showing all of the kids things and they were all listening and following me around until we got to a play kitchen. After that Simon, Minseo, Samuel, and I went places together. Samuel found everything so great and he got so excited about everything we saw. We found a mirror and had a good time talking to "Kara 2" and "Samuel 2." He learned the word giant and embarrassed me by calling me one in crowded places.

Maybe it was the fact that I realized he liked me today. Any time we got separated, he didn't call for the other girls as he usually did but he shouted my name until I came. He just wanted to be with me. And like Minseo, he wanted to hold my hand. And while we played great walking games, sometimes, we just walked and held hands.

Again, it's nice to be loved.

Finally, we ended our day with K-nex. Samuel and I had fun. He laughed so hard and that makes me laugh so hard. I'm not even sure what we were doing. It started out with a dinosaur on my head and ended with K-nex bombs being thrown. It was great and it made me enjoy Samuel. I finally had fun with him. And when all the other kids saw our fun and wanted to join in and thus made Samuel hit them. I took his side. Seriously, they messed with him first. And for me to defend Samuel is a big thing. Because usually I let it all be his fault.

Now that I love him, I think it will better. You work for someone you love. And I'm going to work for Samuel now.

Waygooken
In Korean, "waygooken" means foreigner. We went to a park/museum today filled with school children. Probably hundreds of them. And I was the only foreigner. I felt like a celebrity. Like Brad Pitt. Like Jennifer Aniston. Like Jeff Probst (okay, well how I would respond to Jeff). It does great things for the self esteem.

Waiting Games
I know they embarrassed Grace teacher. But honestly, that's stupid and I don't care. I thoroughly entertained my students yet again with activities while we waited for forever for the activities to being. I like this. I like that I can think of games on the spot and make them happy. I like that walking is more than walking.

I don't feel like I adequately explained.

Maybe because it's a feeling.

A feeling only I can feel.

Ultimately, I fell in love again today.

Or rather, I was reminded how much I loved.

And am loved.

Goodbye funk.