Now, I've never heard God's voice, or had a dream/vision, and maybe once or twice I've prayed and known without a doubt what the answer was...but it's not common. Yet, I feel like these people I'm discussing have it happen to them daily. It's like one morning they wake up, God says audibly, "you should be a doctor," and two hours later they're enrolled in med school. Am I being factitious (man if you knew how long the spelling of this word took, you'd mock)? Yes. But sometimes that's what I envision it being like for them and I am so dang jealous.
Do I think God could do all of these things and more? Oh, heck yes. But do I think it's common? Oh, heck no. Now I'm sure I'll have people debate me on this but a huge part of me just can't understand why God would regularly chose to speak to Joe, Bill, and Ted but leave little 'ol me out of the conversation. I don't believe God's like that...in fact, I'm pretty sure 1 Peter talks about God not having favourites. And yet, that is the stories I'm hearing. And really who am I to doubt that God told you through a cheese sandwich that looked like him--maybe named Cheesus--that you were going to get married in the next year? Because honestly if those things happen to you...could you give God my number next time?
My point? To be honest, I'm not sure. Maybe to tell you that I don't understand this whole concept. Maybe to ask your opinion. Maybe to hear your stories. Maybe to have you tell me I'm completely wrong and that God gave you a vision about me and I'm supposed to be the next Rhianna (to which I would probably laugh and ask if you got your channels crossed with satan).
Maybe I'm wondering what to do with all this "will of God stuff." I've been praying and praying about my next steps and yet I'm not getting any postcards in the mail signed the Holy Spirit. I feel like if I wait much longer there won't be options left. In fact, I had to make a decision about contract renewal and I prayed and prayed and prayed and I definitely didn't hear anything from God on the topic. Yes, you could debate that I wasn't listening but I think that God would just get louder...or maybe I really was listening. The deadline for my decision came and I made one. Do I think my decision isn't in God's plan? No. Actually, I'm pretty sure whichever way I went God would have been satisfied.
I mean if God had decided every step I should take...would I have free will?
And more importantly is it really being in God's will to be sitting and doing nothing while I wait for him to tell me?
It's a touchy subject, isn't it?
A confusing one too.
I say all of this to say, I'm not sure where God has me going next. Perhaps, it's my free will choice and God's satisfied with wherever I go as long as it's to glorify Him. Or perhaps, God wants me to be the next Rhianna in which case God may not be glorified because my singing is atrocious!
All I know is this: I love my job. I love my kids. I love my friends. I love Survivor. I love strawberries. I love laser hair removal. I love headbands. I love Jesus.
And all of that's in Korea...so I'm staying an extra few months at least (March 2012, baby!)
And after that, I think I'll probably move on UNLESS God sends me a postcard saying something different because as much as I love everything I said above, this isn't my heart/my passion/my dream. And one of these days you'll be reading a blog post about a missionary's journey...because that's where I want to be...and I think it's where God wants me to be too.
Thoughts? Comments? Questions? Concerns? It's okay if you do...it's okay if you don't.
First: You have read "Just Do It" right? Weren't you the one who told me about that book?
ReplyDeleteI agree with pretty much all of your thoughts on this one and I think I have some thoughts on the subjects you have yet to form comprehensive thoughts on.
Basically, I do believe God has a plan for our lives but that sometimes it doesn't matter what decision we make in certain situations because He will use it for His (and our) good no matter what. I do believe that some people hear "more" or "more often" or even "better" from God not because they are His favorites but because God knows how to grow us best and apparently two lessons I will always need to be learning are how to listen for Him and how to trust Him. ;) Some people just don't need to be as challenged by those things while on thier journey here on Earth so I think He speaks more clearly to them. Or something like that. I think if He knew it was necessary He would tell me something audibly and forcefully but that He chooses not to because NOT hearing Him crystal-clearly-leaves-no-room-for-doubt helps me to learn better and grow more and appreciate the times He does give me a clear answer to prayer.
I think you're on the right track, chica. Just keep checking in with Him and you'll do fine.